IPV/A–Intimate Partner Violence & Abuse (IPV/A)2021-09-09T08:47:46-04:00

Make Your Great Escape!

Man with a black eye

Just What Is Intimate Partner Violence & Abuse, Or IPV/A?

Within the LGBTQ Community, domestic violence and abuse are referred to as Intimate Partner Violence and Abuse (IPV/A). This demoralizing, destructive, and potentially life-threatening cycle of behavior describes the physical, sexual, emotional and/or psychological harm by a current or former partner or spouse. IPV/A is a serious public health problem that affects millions of Americans each year.

According to The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP), IPV/A is “a pattern of behaviors utilized by one partner (the abuser or batterer) to exert and maintain control over another person (the survivor or victim) where there exists an intimate, loving and dependent relationship.”

Psychologists and authors Jeanne Segal and Melinda Smith weigh in. “Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you. An abuser doesn’t ‘play fair.’ Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under his or her ‘thumb.’ Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you.”

Each year, between 50,000-100,000 lesbians (or more) and as many as 500,000 (or more) Gay/SGL men are battered. Stigma is a powerful social force that keeps this horrendous and abusive behavior swept under the rug and in the closet. Stigma is that albatross around your neck, choking the hell out of you.

The Network/La Red is a survivor-led, social justice organization that works to end partner abuse in the LGBTQ Community. In Mr. Evans’s Huffington Post interview, the organization explained, “Abuse is not about violence, it’s about control. You can be just as controlling of someone if you are small—as if you’re large. It’s about using violence or any other means of gaining and maintaining control.”

The good news is that Intimate Partner Violence and Abuse, or IPV/A, is preventable. Psychologists Segal and Smith stress, “The bottom line is that abusive behavior is never acceptable. You deserve to feel valued, respected, and safe.”

Wyatt O’Brian Evans is a survivor of Intimate Partner Violence and Abuse. An IPV/A Subject Matter Expert (SME), Mr. Evans has researched and interviewed victims and survivors. As a Journalist, Wyatt has written about this cycle of abuse for print and online media including the Huffington Post, Advocate, Baltimore Gay Life, BaltimoreOUTLoud, and Wyattevans.com.

Mr. Evans is LGBTQ Community Chair of the National Trauma Education and Policy Board.  This organization’s mission is to increase awareness and educate the public about the impact and consequences of trauma in all of its forms–with an emphasis on Intimate Partner Violence and Abuse (IPV/A).

He was also Special Consultant and Coordinator for the “Positive Affirmations—ACCELERATE!”  Initiative, funded by ViiV Healthcare. This broad-ranging program was a bold community engagement project targeted to at-risk Black men, with IPV/A as a point of focus.

Wyatt is an advocate and public speaker on this critical—and urgent—societal ill. IPV/A is the overarching theme of Nothing Can Tear Us Apart (NCTUA), his groundbreaking series of novels. FRENZY! is the latest installment. The next in the NCTUA series is scheduled for release in late 2021.

Mr. Evans states:

“I’ve made it my continuing and fervent mission to shine a bright light on Intimate Partner Violence and Abuse (IPV/A)- that insidious, horrific, and potentially life-threatening cycle of behavior that continues to be a growing concern within the LGBTQ Community.

“Remember: the most powerful weapon the abuser has in his/her arsenal is…SILENCE.

“Therefore, we RISE UP! And Tell Someone. Anyone Who Will Listen. We must make our ‘GREAT ESCAPE’!”

Let Wyatt O’Brian Evans empower you to make your “Great Escape,” the term he’s coined to inspire you to make that change. Wyatt is available to conduct IPV/A seminars and workshops for your group and organization. Simply click the “Contact” icon at the top of this website.

Saturday, September 11, 2021 The ManDate Gathering 7pm:

Join us Saturday, September 11, 2021 at our usual 7pm time.   If you have not registered please click the link below to register and get the link information.

This month we have a featured guest Wyatt O’Brian. Wyatt joins us from our former affiliate The ManDate project in Baltimore MD.   Wyatt is a Journalist. Author. Radio Personality. Voice-over (V/O) Instructor and Talent. Intimate Partner Violence & Abuse (IPV/A) Subject Matter Expert (SME), Advocate, and Speaker. Arguably the quintessential Renaissance man, Wyatt O’Brian Evans wears many diverse and colorful hats.

A journalist, Mr. Evans’s work has been featured in print and online media outlets including the Advocate, Huffington Post Washington Blade, Washington Post, Baltimore Gay Life, Bilerico, and BaltimoreOUTloud. Wyatt flexed his entrepreneurial muscles: he founded and is editor-in-chief of and a writer for Wyattevans.com, a leading online news, features, commentary, and entertainment media outlet for the LGBTQ Community and its Allies Nearly 100 countries visit Wyattevans.com regularly.

This month’s virtual gathering will discuss, question and share things that are of importance to our community & share what is on our hearts.  We will discuss Intimate Partner Violence and ways to get and offer support to brothers who have or are living through this situation.   Wyatt may even share some of his recent novels and poetry.  We invite you to prepare share yours as well.   And of course nothing is off limits with The ManDate as we hit on hot topics, political debates, Critical Race Theory, how do Black Gay/Bi and Men of trans experience fit into the conversation and actions related to Black Liberation, this fantasy of “heterosexual Black men” have with Gay/Bi and trans Black men, and  he latest in PrEP and HIV treatments—- how close are we to a cure??

You are invited to a Zoom meeting.
When: September 11, 2021 07:00 PM Eastern Time (US and Canada)
After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the meeting.

Male on Male Domestic Violence

Notable IPV/A Resources

Click here to read Wyatt’s Advocate Article

Wyatt’s Huffington Post Articles:

Other IPV/A Related Articles:

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