As I’ve pointed out many times before, one of the most pervasive and entrenched myths about Intimate Partner Violence and Abuse (IPV/A) is that victims will be safe if they “could just leave their abusers.”  Far too many people believe that victims are free to leave their abusers at any time–and will naturally do so once the level of violence becomes “enough” to force that change.   

Usually, however, leaving does not put an end to the violence and abuse. Time and time again, this can be the most dangerous point in a relationship.  That’s when Separation Violence and Assault, or SVAkicks in. 

According to www.aardvarc.orga respected domestic violence information website, “Instead, (leaving) increases dynamics of violence and can initiate new levels of violence and new forms of retaliation from the abuser to the victim.  Many abusers believe that the victim ‘belongs to them and that as such, they are fully justified in doing whatever it takes to make sure that ‘their property’ remains theirs.”  To force the victim to reconcile with him/her, an abuser may escalate the violence.

A while ago, I was the special guest on the acclaimed and uber-popular Sandy Rogers Radio Show, where I answered the question, “Is Separation the Answer?”– and many others regarding the umbrella of Intimate Partner Violence & Abuse/Domestic Violence & Abuse.  Sadly, due to the stressors caused by the COVID pandemic, this abusive, demoralizing, and potentially life-threatening cycle of behavior is on the rise.  Therefore, this in-depth Sandy Rogers episode is as timely, topical—and critical—as ever. 

Until We Meet Again…

I’ve made it my ongoing–and fervent–mission to continue to shine a bright light on IPV/Aa hellish and potentially life-threatening, cycle of dysfunctional behavior.  This entire month, and every month…

We Must RISE UP…And Tell Someone! Anyone Who Will Listen. We must make our “Great Escape.”

And always remember: the most powerful weapon the abuser has in his/her arsenal is…SILENCE!

If you or someone you know is experiencing IPV/A, call The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233); (1-800-799-7233); the Trans Lifeline Hotline (U.S., 877-565-8860. Canada, 877-330-6366).  

I have a special IPV/A section right here at that includes resources to assist victims. Visit

The time is NOW to break the cycle!