“Stop, in the Name of Love…”
Guest Writer: R. L. Norman
“STOP!!!” I screamed. “PLEASE STOP.”
As I struggled to get loose but couldn’t move, tears began forming in my eyes. The weight on top of me was way too heavy.
As I struggled more and more, the grip around my body got tighter and tighter. His arms were wrapped around me, and the bulk of his weight was practically crushing me.
“Don’t scream, you will wake up the neighbors,” his low, threatening voice whispered into my ear.
At that point–out of fright–I remained motionless, as his body grinded into me. I was hoping that my cries and prayers would be answered, that someone heard my scream–because for a few moments, he didn’t move.
But I was mistaken.
Suddenly, he thrust his big, hard manhood deeper into my ass. The pain was so bad that I couldn’t help but scream out again! I was so loud that I was again hoping that the neighbors would have heard me.
And before I knew it, he suddenly started fucking my virgin ass hard, fast and rough. Again I tried to yell out “STOP” but the pain was so excruciating at this point I could hardly get my own voice pass my lips.
Then suddenly, I had an out of body experience as he raped me.
My mind went back to the beginning, and how I happened to be on this blind date in the first place.
You see, during my sophomore year in college at Tuskegee University in Alabama, I was spending the summer in Dallas, Texas. I was with a group of other students trying to get some hands-on sales experience by selling bibles and medical dictionaries door-to- door.
Yes, you read it correctly! Bibles and medical dictionaries, of all things.
I had attended a seminar at school, where this company was recruiting college students for what they called “easy money.” You know that term means a lot to financially struggling college students. We were hooked! The things we do to make money in college (SMH—Shaking My Head).
About 50 of us drove cross-country, and we didn’t know anyone in Dallas. So, we had to basically find our own way and survive. Upon our arrival, we found out that it was not easy money or an easy life. From the very beginning, it was a struggle to survive.
I did meet several people during my days there and one in particular: Clifford. He came to be my ally, my friend.
When I knocked on his door, he answered in a flamboyant and grand way. Immediately, I was surprised, shocked and intrigued.
He was about fifty years old and a real “queen,” as they say. He didn’t buy a bible or medical dictionary. Instead he tried to buy me. I turned down his numerous overtures eventually he became my gay mother away from home, so to speak. He introduced me to the gay scene in Dallas, and numerous people along the way.
But during that time that summer, I became very lonely and homesick. Being a door-to-door salesman was a very emotional and mentally-challenging job. The rejections were becoming too much to handle.
So, to help me out, Clifford suggested that I go on a blind date with a friend of his. I agreed because the gay bar scene was not for me. All I did was stand against the wall, feeling depressed. And I am sure that is why no one ever approached me.
The night of my blind date, Clifford’s friend Randy picked me up from Clifford’s house at 8 p.m. sharp. When Randy walked into the room, I was pleasantly surprised and excited! He was “phine:” about thirty-years-old, pure dark-skinned, 6′ 2″, about 230 pounds of muscle, goatee and fade haircut. My 5’11, slim 155-pound frame looked like a little boy standing next to this real man.
Instantly, Randy “swept me off my feet.” He took me to a nice restaurant for dinner, then to a jazz bar to listen to music and talk some more. He was so endearing that I felt like a school girl on a first date.
When we left the bar, he suggested we go back to his place to watch TV. I readily agreed because I was having the best time ever since I arrived in Dallas.
Randy’s apartment was very neat and well-kept. He had very expensive taste. There was what appeared to be very pricey artwork and statues all around. And the focal point was that the apartment overlooked the skyline of Dallas from the 44th floor.
But I should have known something was wrong when he said the TV in his living room was broken, so we had to go into the bedroom. I could not imagine a man like this with a place like this having a broken TV! But I agreed.
We sat on his bed where he kissed me for the first time. Eventually, the TV was watching us as we kissed, cuddled and hugged. It was all good until his hands got very invading.
Randy was trying to take off my clothes, even as I kept pushing his hands away and resisting his advances. I repeatedly told him “No;” but at one point, he forcibly unfastened my pants, pulling them down as he had me pinned down on the bed.
Before I knew what was happening, he’d undid his pants, pulled them down and thrust his dick in my ass! And, as he was penetrating and pounding into me, I’m thinking, “This is not happening.” But after a while, I was in so much shock that I no longer felt the pain.
After what seemed like hours, Randy panted heavily in my ear, shot his seed inside of me and collapsed on top of me. Then, after a few moments, he rolled over. I just lay still and didn’t move.
Actually, I couldn’t move. I was numb and in shock.
After I got my senses together, I asked him to take me home. He declined. So, I slowly got dressed and proceeded to walk out of his house. I tried to figure out how to get back to Clifford’s house.
I walked aimlessly down the street until eventually, Randy showed up. As he took me back to Clifford’s, I did not say a single word. Even after we arrived back at Clifford’s house, I couldn’t speak. I just nodded my head at Clifford with a quick fake smile, and went to his guest room.
For several weeks, I continued to be paralyzed and utterly dazed about my body being violated. I hardly spoke or went outside because I felt…. I don’t know how I felt. I was just in limbo.
I was experiencing so many emotions that included guilt, shame, fear, denial, anger and sadness. I was so confused! I was on an emotional roller coaster.
But I knew one thing; I didn’t want anyone to find out.
And, the following thoughts plagued me: Did I tease him? Did I lead him on? Did I let him go too far that he couldn’t turn back? Was it my fault?
Or is he just a rapist?
I didn’t know what to do. Should I tell somebody? How does it look for a man reporting rape by another man? But I wish I had told somebody. I wish I had him prosecuted. I wish he would rot in jail. I am sure he did it to someone else because I let him get away with it. And that is my fault because I didn’t tell.
Well, now I am telling and it feels good.
Many people believe that sexual assault is only committed by men against women. The majority of sexual assaults are perpetrated by men; however, the fact of the matter is that 1 out of every 10 men is sexually assaulted. And most of those go unreported.
Rape is Rape. It doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman. And if you feel that you have been raped, TELL SOMEBODY…ANYBODY …..PLEASE.
Rape is not Sex. Rape is not Love. Rape is Rape. So stop it–in the name of Love.
If this has happened to you, make sure that you tell someone because you don’t want to walk a mile in my shoes. They are not comfortable.
For assistance, you can contact the Rape and Incest National Network (RAINN) at 1-800-656-4673. Counselors are available to help you 24/7.
L. Norman is a writer, performer and author of the popular series of novels entitled, “Honey Let Me Tell You.” The fourth and latest installment is “Love Is Complicated.” The sequel will be available soon. As well, he performs “Norman’s One Night Stand,” a one-man show he conceived and wrote, showcasing the main character of his series. R. L. also is writing a play based on “Honey Let Me Tell You.” All of these endeavors are part of the production company he’s forming. You may reach R. L. at his on line home, www.rlnorman1.wix.com/honeyletmetellyou; by email at: email@example.com; on Facebook at RL NORMAN; on Twitter, @rl_norman; and on Instagram: rlnorman1.
WOW! I did not see that coming. It was very intriguing story of how one of many ways that rape can occur and how to handle it. I understand the feelings of being shocked and numb after that horrific situation but I would have reported it immediately or at least told his friend who set him up for the date. But then again, the shame of it all is so overwhelmingly embarrassing that it can definitely mentally scar you and leave you in a stationary state of mind. A first date should have limits regardless of how much of a good time your having, i.e., the date should have ended before going to his home. The lesson learned here is be more inquisitive to find out who you are going out with. I applaud R.L. Norman for giving an example of what can happen when your not aware. KUDOS!
Jay Jay: I appreciate your input! I should have told someone; but during the 1980s, “man on man” rape was rarely discussed. But if I knew then what I know now, I would’ve told someone. Thanks.
BRAVO! Intense, intrigue, captivating, but more important…..REALITY! Way to share your writings on such a POIGNANT topic! I’m so proud of you. Keep growing and sharing your PASSION!
Ernest: thanks for your comments and support of each of my columns! It touches my heart to know that people are reading and liking what I have to say.
Very compelling account of date rape. I hope your story encourages someone to speak up and get help. No one should feel guilty about getting raped.
Eddie: Thanks for your support. The purpose of me sharing my story was not just for me, but more importantly to let others that have experienced what I went through to realize that they are NOT alone.
As I began to read the first few lines I knew where it was going. I believe it will help another person by showing them in writing that they are not alone and these things do happen to men as well as women. This is the beginning of an healing process!!
Continue to do the great work that God has given you. You are a blessing and a voice to so many people.. God bless you R. L. Norman
Sharolyn: Thanks for your words of support and wisdom. You are correct when you say, “this is the start of the healing process for me.” It’s good because it’s helping me heal and understand.
Sorry that happened to you.
You should have told someone.
Jeffery: Thanks for empathizing with my situation. You are correct: I should’ve told. However, the shock clouded my judgment, and made me unsure of what to do.
Was it your fault,, ummm. Was it Clifford’s fault, well??????. Was it Randy’s fault, or did he just do what he wanted to do or used to doing? How about you Paster or what ever was the head of your religious training? What about you parents? Surely they warned you about situations like this, no? why not?……
You see the culture of the world is changing. Well not so much, a woman can still be stoned for sleeping with not her husband, a hand can still be cut off for steeling. a homosexual act can get you killed by your police force ect…………..men can marry men, a woman can marry a woman.
The Human Race is evolving but not so much our outdated beliefs.
Mothers and Fathers should be sitting down with their gay, sons and daughters and teaching them the dangers of the world instead of trying to pray it away, oh! they were not told. Believe me a lot of them know: even sometimes before we figure it out.
I write all this to simply say, “Rape, Child Abduction, Sexual Orientation, Prostition, Incess, Human Trafficing, and yes Porn should be topics discussed by our Teachers, Elders, Leaders and especially Parents. In this age of the Internet, and Social Media a lot of children are learning but not being TAUGHT.
I now turn my Soap Box back to you Norman.
PS: Thanks for once again bringing a topic to make us think.
Marcus: I appreciate your deep and profound words. These days, hopefully parents, teachers, etc are educating kids as to what to do in these situations.
Outstanding essay!!! I am struggling with our perception or I should say “my perception” of GAY life. We are trying to validate the GAY lifestyle which is the right thing to do, A GAY lifestyle which I believed was about “hooking-up”. Rape unfortunately, is a crime that as existed since the beginning of time. I think the struggle has been the acceptance of RAPE by many faiths around the world. A boy or a man’s worth is based on society’s views, mores and beliefs. How could you have told someone you were raped when we celebrate a boy getting raped by a woman??? How could you have told someone that a man (especially, a GAY man) raped you??? What adult would have listened or even believed you??? How could you have told your pastor when pastors are raping boys and girls??? How could you have told your teacher when teachers are no longer looked as role models??? Finally, how could you have told your parents when they are too busy keeping a roof over your head and food in mouth??? Our society is slowly changing but remember we are in 2015. Your story although, reflects how we address rape it also represents the past when your voice even as a Black Man was not heard.
Reggie: Thanks for your thoughts, which are correct. I thought that no one would believe me; therefore, I couldn’t tell anyone. And, I didn’t myself believe what had happened to me.
In reading this I can relate I walk a mile in your shoes everyday and I’m so sorry that there are people out there that take advantage of those that are so vulnerable keep writing your columns keep opening of doors that we locked up inside of us we have to heal from the inside out thank you much love
KSnake12–Thank you for understanding my pain, confusion and the effect the experience had on my life–as I’m sure it affected yours. Thanks for your support.
That is horrible ,he should have been reported because he will only do the same thing to some other young man that dose not deserve it ,However I am sure if he dose he will get reported and get what he deserves .
Reggie: Thanks for your response. And from reading my article, hopefully someone will report and put that person in jail.
This is a profound message not just of one man events, but a community life style. man are still not really recognized as rape victim on any levels, the message is clear, you have to stand up, make it known to the community as a violation, and crime. I hope this story can bring more light, to man that live in darkest of being gay lifestyle of date rape of any kind…….
Blackwood: Thanks! I hope society will open its eyes and realize that men–gay or straight–can be the victim of rape.
I have tears in my eyes reading this and my heart goes out to you that you went through this. Rape is horrible. As a hetro-sexual woman, I also experienced rape without telling anyone. To this day sex to me is not always enjoyable. We as a people need to get pass the shame and tell someone. These animals NEED to be in jail!
Cyan: I feel your pain as you feel mine. I’m so sorry that you had to endure the horrors of rape. It’s my hope that as time goes by, more people will tell so that we can get these predators off the street.
YOU ARE A STRONG PERSON!!!!!!!!!!
This was a very touching article. It is my hope and PRAYER that individuals who have experience the same thing will come forth and seek help.
Daniel: Thank you for your words and compliments. Hopefully, someone will find the courage to tell after reading my story.
” hard manhood ” ??? Sounds like a polite ladies novel .
” He’d undid ” ??? Ungrammatical . He’d is ” he had ” contracted , so undone would have to follow.
Whether true or not this story did not draw me in and I quit reading halfway through . A couple of college courses in writing would be a good investment.
Wow.. You obviously missed the whole point of the story. Whether it’s true or not (and I was told it was true), you wasted your time looking for errors instead of the most important point; someone was RAPED!!!! This story could have been about your mother, sister, father, brother ,etc. Your words showed no type of compassion at all for a big problem in this world.
I agree with Eddie’s comment below to you…”criticism is fine” but you could have shown a little more heart.
And because of that I hope two things for you:
First if anyone you know is RAPED, that they don’t seek you out for comfort and compassion; you will probably correct their English. And second that if you are ever RAPED, that someone does not show you the same unfeeling response as you did.
The above comment by Jay was meant for the comment posted by Joe blow…
Joe: Thanks for reading! I trust that the replies by Jay and Eddie to your comments will open your eyes to the fact that rape is a serious crime that happens every day–and shouldn’t be taken lightly.
Once again excellent article keep up the good work God is giving you a good blessing
D: Thanks for the compliment, and for taking the time to read my words about a very serious issue.
when I was becoming a teenager; this happen to me numbrous of time in my home n in the niegborhood and like u I felt da same way shame,sad n embaresented. my rapist were da boys n da hood and family members
Calvin: I’m so sorry that you had to endure such a terrible thing such as rape. It deeplly saddens me that it occurred several times in your life. Hopefully, my article has helped you in some way. I feel your pain, and am saying a continuing prayer for you throughout your healing process. Feel free to contact me at: firstname.lastname@example.org. Much good luck to you.
RE: Joe Blow
Criticism is fine, but petty nasty criticism is not ok. Let’s see you write something better.
WOW I must say at first being the freak that I’m I got a little excited reading this story. Then I started getting to the real part of it. This is a lot of people’s untold story hopefully this will help someone that is reading this story. Love it
Al H: Thanks for your words and your understanding. Like you, I hope this will allow others to heal–and tell their untold stories.
I applaud you for sitting down to relive that horrible event and writing it down. You’re finally letting it go. Good for you.
Lupe: Thanks for your words of support and encouragement. I really appreciate it. It feels good to finally release it all.
I’m truly saddened and shocked that happened to you my friend, and I applaud you for bringing it to light, the stigma of being violated whether you’re a man or a woman is disgusting. Even though a bad thing has happened to you, you didn’t let it consume your life by becoming depressed or even suicidal (I hope you didn’t). You, my brother had persevered through a tragic act forced upon you.
DJ: Thanks for your words and thoughts. No, I didn’t become suicidal; depressed and confused, yes. But, I learned not to let it control my life or the way I deal with relationships today. I have faith and trust in God “to see me through the storm,” and to help others. Thanks for always supporting me and being a true friend.
INTENSE READING. THANKS FOR SHARING. I HOPE ALL WHO HAVE READ THIS ARTICLE WILL PASS IT ON SO OTHERS CAN BE MADE AWARE OF THE DANGER OF BEING ALONE WITH A BLIND DATE..SINCE SO MANY OF US ARE NOW DATING PEOPLE WE MEET ON LINE.
Harry: Thanks, friend. And I, like you, hope that people will share this article with others, to help victims to get through the pain.
The realities of this sick atrocious act is very real. It’s sad that for men they fear something like this happening to them in prison but it’s even worse when you come to realize it happens in common areas & scary part you can never tell who is really who. Gotta learn how to keep your guards up & defend yourselves.
thank you for coming out with those confessions Norman , that takes courage and for this I am proud of you ! Many men of al statues suffer with some of those same set backs and unfortunate Trauma across ethnic and cultural backgrounds . YOU GO BOY !
Man he should have told his best friend that guy should have gone 2 jail !! But I understand it’s hard to tell someone something like that if that happens got to say something so he don’t get comfortable doing that to others !! Bad thing is his name being Randy that’s my name to but I’m nothing like that lol